its the end of my penultimate year and im afraid that the time left i have here is scarce. truth be told, i have yet to be certain of what i am going to do after next year, or if what i desire is even possible. i have so many things to say to him but i dont want to bring any of it up because i know it’ll hurt.
there’s still this fear inside of me, knowing that going back home for summer means having to face everyone judging how i look and who i’ve become. life in london has made me immune to the superficial glares of singaporeans. i’ve become complacent, too comfortable in my own skin that i think its ok to just be who i am. once i step ground on homeland though, i know all these feelings of security will immediately be abolished and replaced by paranoia and depression.
this summer’s gonna be a long one
