the distinction between pain and pleasure
falling. falling quickly, a slow drifting towards the infinite sequence, the numbers falling and repeating and falling, shuffling backwards through time. twice, twice over. the water comes in a rolling open-world motion, water gripping my wrists and my ankles and i open my arms to give myself over to the waves. not a violation, a gift. the water nymph running his ice-cold tongue over my shivering body, closed eyes. tongue touching teeth. open, and then close. with a jolt, a clammy hand clasping the feathers. i shudder. twice. let the cold melt you from the inside, your secret glass palace melting. outside in the rain, the grey sky began to crumple. i would tell you the truth but, what would i do should you flee. with your hand on the second hand of the clock. dapper, and gold. underneath the mistletoe and in a dream, i said your name. twice. my face on your face. tongue touching teeth. you said wait, we’re running out of eggnog. the fire’s growing cold. you took with you the stethoscope i was wearing and the last shard of my mind and never came back. sometimes i think i’m still waiting.
