Sitting here crouching tight under the duvet with my toes curled up trying to gather up any ounce of warmth I can. I try and surmount all the determination in myself to not break out into a flood of whiney tears-just because I am cold shivering and without anything to occupy myself with.
I find it hard to make decisions at times
Why I contemplate so much over simplest actions baffle me. I don’t know who I am and what I feel anymore, its like I’ve spun up an intricate web of emotions picking those which I choose to want to display without letting how I truly feel come through.
Its days like this when I feel remotely disgusted at myself. How obese I’ve become, how casual I take the upkeeping of my appearances to matter, how lacklustre I have become in my sexual relationship with the bf- my life is just not what I thought it would be.
And then I think to myself, will I be able to revert all of this?
