February 2012
1 post
Dreams
I’ve been awake since half two in the morning. This flu is killing me, my nose has been congested with an amalgamation of mucus and flowing substances which resemble sewage. I can’t smell and my throat is parched. The need to sit upright in order to take in gulps of air is constricting my chest and it hurts. I know I can’t be a baby. I need to man up. All I’ve taken is two...
January 2012
5 posts
Unusual Date Ideas
icanalmostreachmytoes:
I love this!!
December 2011
2 posts
new years
new years resolution list-
1) lose weight (for real, this time its abt sustained perseverance and the mentality to maintain a current state of emptiness in the long run)
2) be calm and at peace with myself. try to pray everynight and thank my blessings
3) have more discipline in every aspect of my life, with regards to work and socially.
4) be more responsible, learn to think about others...
Sitting here crouching tight under the duvet with my toes curled up trying to gather up any ounce of warmth I can. I try and surmount all the determination in myself to not break out into a flood of whiney tears-just because I am cold shivering and without anything to occupy myself with.
I find it hard to make decisions at times
Why I contemplate so much over simplest actions baffle me. I...
June 2011
6 posts
i found this from my xanga awhile back, such confusion having a tumblr, a xanga and even a livejournal lol
some names for my future child if ever it were a girl > 1) kiara 2) sosha 3) tara 4) soka 5) tasha
if you're gonna fall in love with me-
it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.
You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and...
peace
somehow i find myself turning back to the good old days when blogging was carthartic. i guess its a phase, which i float in and out of. i’ve made a decision to be back in london three weeks earlier than i was meant to, three weeks less of the heat and the pleasure of just basking in the sun for him. honestly im well scared of whats gonna happen after the next year, i dont want to let go as...
its the end of my penultimate year and im afraid that the time left i have here is scarce. truth be told, i have yet to be certain of what i am going to do after next year, or if what i desire is even possible. i have so many things to say to him but i dont want to bring any of it up because i know it’ll hurt.
there’s still this fear inside of me, knowing that going back home for...
I think there come’s a point when I get too comfortable. Then the complacency sets in-which worries me because I don’t want to be too used to how I am now
September 2010
3 posts
conversations for the heart →
Link →
August 2010
4 posts
slip out of my life →
Link →
i would rather be horizontal →
July 2010
1 post
“I wish I were able to write the way one speaks. I wish that one day, the barrier...”
– Le Livre des Fuites, J. M. G. Le Clézio (via stop-droproll) (via catastrophe23)
May 2010
1 post
i swallowed my heart whole →
March 2010
5 posts
Thief — how did you crawl into, crawl down alone into the death I wanted so badly and for so long, the death we said we both outgrew, the one we wore on our skinny breasts, the one we talked of so often each time we downed three extra dry martinis in Boston, the death that talked of analysts and cures, the death that talked like brides with plots, the death we drank to, the motives and the...
life is good →
“I’ve loved you from the first time I saw you. I think I was twelve. It took me...”
– Naomi Campbell (Skins 4x08) (via everything0nce) (via 16chestnut) (via addedsugar) (via catastrophe23)
“this is a place I often find myself. stuck half way in real life and the other half in a daydream. it is quite a strange existence to be infatuated with imagination. daily it seems the siren calls my name.” from sarah
February 2010
7 posts
You can sky rocket away from me And never come back if you find another galaxy Far from here, with more room to fly Just leave me your stardust to remember you by
Stand on the floor where it’s marked X. I am standing by your side where it’s marked Y. We are a shoulder’s length apart. I’m so close you can almost smell the perfume. If I step ten paces away from you, there could be a garden between...
You can sky rocket away from me And never come back if you find another galaxy Far from here, with more room to fly Just leave me your stardust to remember you by
unparallel →
There is love in your body but you can’t hold it in It pours from your eyes and spills from your skin The tenderest touch, leaves the darkest of marks, and the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts
“ Lovers find their way by such insights and confidences: they’re the stars we use to navigate the oceans of desire. And the brightest of those stars are the heartbreaks and sorrows. The most precious gift you can bring to your lover is your suffering. So I took each sadness she confessed to me and pinned it to the sky.”
“I am sure she had no hope. I told her that the affair was temporary, that my love for her was temporary, and doubtless her love for me was temporary. I spoke of mortality and the fragile and shadowy nature of human arrangements and the jumbled unreality of human minds, while her large light brown eyes spoke to me of the eternal. She said, I want to be perfect for you so that you can leave...
January 2010
7 posts
closer to where i started →
“I don’t know why we all hang onto something we know we’re better off letting go. It’s like we’re scared to lose what we don’t really have. Some of us say we’d rather have that something than nothing, but the truth is to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all.”
“Sometimes people change so much, it hurts to even have them in your life because you see the change. You...
So you say you want a deathbed scene, the knowledge that comes before knowledge, and you want it dirty. And no one can ever figure out what you want, and you won’t tell them, and you realize the one person in the world who loves you isn’t the one you thought it would be, and you don’t trust him to love you in a way you would enjoy. And the boy who loves you the wrong way is filthy. And the boy who...
“You know what’s really amazing about a first love? It’s that when you find it,...”
– (via pineappleupsidedown) (via awesomelyawful) (via coffeeandlipstick) (via bitev) (via inkheartedtrail)
old teenage hopes are alive at your door →
I’ve got a perfectly normal heart Bruised and broken from within At times I don’t know how to start To let you in here To let you in here So forgive me Cause I don’t know what to do When you look at me There can be no hesitation There cannot be a close second to you
que sera sera →
December 2009
21 posts
last night of the decade
one two three four tell me that you love me more sleepless, long nights that was what my youth was for. old teenage hopes are alive at your door left you with nothing but they want some more.. oh, oh, oh you’re changing your heart. oh, oh, oh you know who you are. sweetheart, bitter heart now I can’t tell you apart cozy and cold put the horse before the cart...
nothing is sound →
“All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us...”
– The Wonder Years (via littlemiss) (via inkheartedtrail)
the distinction between pain and pleasure
falling. falling quickly, a slow drifting towards the infinite sequence, the numbers falling and repeating and falling, shuffling backwards through time. twice, twice over. the water comes in a rolling open-world motion, water gripping my wrists and my ankles and i open my arms to give myself over to the waves. not a violation, a gift. the water nymph running his ice-cold tongue over my shivering...